Uncyclopedia's definition of CS

A Forum Thread for Counter-Strike: Source

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This will make you laugh

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Counter_Strike I reckon some of you have allready seen this, but for the people who havent this is just hilarious. Uncyclopedia is the mock site of Wikipedia pretty much everything that is on uncyclopedia is a wind up. Heres a little example of what its like: Benelli M3-Shotgun The Benelli M3-Shotgun works fine close-range. Run up to your enemy, or turn around a corner, and fire an entire load full in his face. If, due to some divine intervention that causes you to miss, use the reload action on the enemy, and the empty casing shell will kill him instantly. The sound from the reload action is so loud, people from other servers on different maps, on different versions of CS can headshot you because the sound immediately identifies your exact position.

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  • 10y
    Silent Ricochet avatar
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    The weapon isnt' completely useless however. If you hit G then you can run up to an opponent and mercilessly bash their skull in the wit the gun. But beware, if they are wearing the helmet, cuz then they will just laugh and say "FUCKING NOoB LolZ1!!!" and proceed to shoot you in the testicles.


    That made me lol. That site is so funny, I've been to it before for other things. It's great.

    Few other funny ones:

    The Dual Elites are the most expensive pistols available to T's. One look at the name should explain why: this consists of three guns. One is held by your left hand, one is invisible and compensates for your small penis size, and one is held by your other left hand.


    If you want to be 1337, you'll embrace the MP5. That's what all the Asians do, at least the ones who aren't AWP whores, or people with a toe jammed up their ass.


    Ingram / MAC-10

    This is perhaps the ugliest piece of shit in Counter Strike - and is also the ugliest SMG in real life that's why Americans were sorry they ever invented this weapon, and let the Israelis do what they do best when designing an SMG with a butt-ugly perpendicular pistol grip (and of course killing Palestinians).Its sound is as ugly as its appearance. The sound of a MAC10 in full auto sounds like a hobo taking a dump while farting at the same time. One may wonder what the creator of this gun was trying to tell (his life story perhaps?), but let's not get into that.Asians (especially Koreans) despise this weapon because it has no scope and you cannot kill an enemy with one shot.


    Galil
    You'd think paying $2000 would get you something decent, instead you get an AK ripoff which somehow manages to not only weigh more than Gabe Newell and the Titanic put together but also does less damage than a pea shooter.

    Some have suggested throwing the damn thing but not only is that impossible (due to its weight it travels precisely 4 cm and is inclined to fall on your foot, dealing more damage then an AWP headshot) but also if you were to miss your opponent (he would have to be in a wheelchair or already dead), then you would generate a 9.0 earthquake and probably crash the server.
    Loud Mouth New Yawkuh avatar
    Mantra
    Loud Mouth New Yawkuh
  • 10y
    $carface avatar
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    Lol

    TMP

    This weapon is designed to accomplish two things:
    1. It has a permanent silencer, therefore the user is "teh l337 0wnz4r"

    2. It requires you to reload before you can do any amount of damage that could almost
    kill someone.

    Most people who use these guns eventually give up on life and begin writhing on the ground at the start of each round:
    1. To save the rest of the players time

    2. Because the game won't stop telling them, you've died 86...87 rounds in a row.

    This weapon can also be used as a drill, a bong, a cigar, and an 'edgy' addition as a clothing accessory.

    (Interesting note: Once you've died 100 rounds in a row the computer will spit acid in your face and say "3y3 0wnz4r u n00b")


    I pity the fool who hasn't mastered teh 1337 TMP.
    Supah Mawdaratah! avatar
    Mantra
    Supah Mawdaratah!
  • 10y
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    The defusal kit is only for the Retards who don't actually know how to get some scissors and cut the brown wire (or is it the red one? or the blue? green? yellow? DAMMIT I GIVE UP).

    I lol'ed. Hard.

    What if your colour blind?
    Superstar. ๏̯͡ avatar
    Mantra
    Superstar. ๏̯͡
  • 10y
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    Counter-strike is an online simulation terrorism that is used by radicalised Muslims with internet access to practice in a virtual world acts of terrorism such as bombing and hostage taking.


    :D Lol.
    Not the master of IRC
  • 10y
    Silent Ricochet avatar
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    -The Famas can hold its own against entities with such weapons as the Glock and the defuser kit. Some have even beaten enemies who had nightvision, a rare feat... it's not uncommon to see a well respected player say something like "LOLZ OMG!11 I JU5T PWNT U JUB WITH MY FAMAS AND JOO HAD NIGHTVISION ASWEL ROFL!!11WTF!!11"

    -The scout is the best weapon in the game for cqc. Its sheer power and firing rate alone make people around you shit their pants. If rambo or Chuck Norris had one of these, New York wouldn't exist

    - AWP - It takes well over an hour to reload, during which a less experienced player using a Glock could well have called you a 'N00b' several times before you 'owned' him, giving you much satisfaction, and a slightly longer penis.The orrigonal name of this gun was "fAWP" which means "for asian without penis" but since they pretty much have a monopoly on the rifle now they changed all that.


    Who ever wrote these are a comedic genius.
    Loud Mouth New Yawkuh avatar
    Mantra
    Loud Mouth New Yawkuh
  • 10y
    spike455 avatar
    spike455 Offline
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    Lol!!
     avatar
    Mantra
  • 10y
    s1nk0 avatar
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    “B000M!! Headshot!”

    ~ Dick Cheney on friendly fire being "on"


    Roflcopter.
    Tactically Kawaii avatar
    Mantra
    Tactically Kawaii
  • 10y
    HEADSHOTDEALER avatar
    Member Joined 10y
    1,601 points Ranked 2933rd
    LOL LOL LOL very funny stuff
    BOOM HEADSHOT
  • 10y
    If you really want to be 1337, start the round with only 1 round in your deagle, camp and wait for the enemies to gang up on you - then - shoot yourself; aim for your legs if you can't feel your head - try to shoot your "Achilles weakspot", and if it doesn't work be sure to pre-configure this line into your config.cfg:
    bind +mouse1 say "TELEPORT ERROR!; kill; wait; Good to be back on the mothership,
    but where's Data?;


    lol'd hard.
    Eh
  • 10y
    SilentKillzr avatar
    Member Joined 11y
    3,520 points Ranked 1313rd
    Wow lol'd at this thread
    All Darkness Contains Light. avatar
    Mantra
    All Darkness Contains Light.

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