Alright a few days ago i went over to my friends place and we had a few drinks, and smoked a few joints and just listened to music and it was all cool and shit for a bit. Then a couple of hours later I was throwin up like crazy and i felt absolutely horrible. so when i went home i was yet again throwin up like crazy. my mum asked if i was alright adn i said i was fine. the next mornin i felt extremely tipsy, no hangover, just tipsy like i was still influenced, so i threw up some more. that night i went to see some live music, adn when i got home i felt sick yet again and tried to throw up more but i couldnt. that night i woke up at 3 am and again, more throwin up. my mum asked what the problem was and i just told her that i probably had food poisoning from pizza, and she believed me.
i feel really, really bad because this is about say maybe the 15th time that's happened - me comin home really fucked up and makin up some lame story, and she always believes me.
i'm concerned because this is a really bad thing to do to my mum, and what if one day, i am actually extremely fucked up, like SERIOUSLY fucked up, and i needed to go to the hospital for it, and my mum realizes that i've been lieing all along, and man, that would hurt like a fuckin bitch.
and this sucks even more because lately i've been havin a thing where i REALLY REALLY want to try acid, but if i do, that situation that i just mentioned above is going to occur. part of me is just goin, man try this crazy psychedelic shit and get it over with and never touch it again, which sounds really stupid but as a teenager and my teenage hormones, it sounds like a bloody wizard plan.
so yeah....sorry for wasting your time...umm...what do i do i guess?
Well, I know what you mean by feeling guilty about lying. I lie all the time and my concience get's up and kills me.
My advice would be to try to cut back (like red said) and if you ever stop throwing up, maybe go somewhere with your mom (both so she doesn't suspect something and because it's a nice thing to do when your feeling guilty).
Psychiatry at it's best.
You really should try and stop hurting yourself so much. It really doesn't do you or your mom any good, especially since what happened with your dad and all. Not saying that has anything to do with this. But my friend who does nothing but owe people money, drink, and smoke got pulled over. He thought he was like 5 - 10 miles from my house when he was like 40. He got stuck with posession, DUI, having a pipe, and open container. Lost his licence and has like 2000 in fines to pay. Just because you aren't driving around doesn't mean you still can't end up doing something stupid.
Which brings me to a cousin of mine. His body rejects things like alcohol and drugs to the point where it almost killed him once. Maybe you have something like that where if you take too much your body rejects it. There could be dozens of possiblities, but the one solution is cut back. Moderate your intake, or don't take anything at all.