===========================================================READ THIS BEFORE POSTING!!===========================================================
If you're just coming here to post about a trashed and/or withheld submission, please leave a message on the Unwithhold page ON the submission itself when you've made appropriate changes, and please check this page for more information; my profile page is not the place for that, and your posts WILL be removed if you're only posting here to have your submission unwithheld. If your issue involves site moderation (I.E., reporting another user and/or their post, reporting broken submission downloads, requesting a post and/or submission to be withheld/trashed, etc.), please submit a support ticket instead. If you fail to read this and post on my profile asking for help with a moderation issue instead of making a support ticket, the post WILL be ignored and removed.
About your details, have a hug and a pat in the back right from the heart, Ganryu. I had a loss myself during the last June, and I've had dreams and nightmares that put me in situations similar to what you describe; the feeling I had after waking up after each time was always heartbreak.
I hope you discover soon what it is that is bringing you distress. It's certainly something I'd want a doctor to stand up and be straightforward about.
You have a strong will. It might be rude of me to give you advice, considering how I've always seen you as my definition of a wise man, and because I don't know your situation, but my thoughts are that you could relieve yourself of some of the more huge goals and look at them in smaller steps instead. Finding work is very important, but I always believe it's your own integrity that stands above all. Stress wears you out and eventually tears you down.
I have been away getting my life in order. Simple things like creating the right habits for myself, reflecting and getting to know me and who I am, basically things you want to do if you don't want your feet to stumble. So far I've been succeeding and now I work out, read, and learn about myself on a regular basis. Only gotta add in the studying and working on my mentality.
My time at uni has shown me that I'm almost fully done beating my social anxiety, or whatever's left of it. That has been my foremost issue with myself since forever, so I'm quite happy about that.
Speaking about that, I decided to quit studying Mechanical Engineering due to feeling tired and uninspired, and now I'll take on Public Relations, which includes contents I'm more familiar with, instead of the sole reason being me wanting to try it.