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Since you haven't done the model itself and took it from somebody else I think that you should try to seek more for the ownership of the model you've just retextured.
Speaking of the character itself,everything seems nice by looking at the screenshots,unless the camo you've applied. The headgear,combat vest,kneepads,holster and combat boots are just really nice but the camo is just unfitting.
If it was a jungle/forest camo,or even a urban camo it would fit very nicely,I can't say too much about the model but generally it looks great.
Looking at the submission profile settings itself,it seems that you got a few things right,for example the Attributes and Credits. I know that you don't know who made the original model but do your best to find who did,credits are important,specially if you haven't made a element in your submission.
The thumbnail is okay,could be way more better if you had focused in taking a good picture of the model itself instead of a full green-space with a text and him in the center.
The screenshots taken in the Jed's half-life model viewer are also okay but just like the thumbnail could be better. There should be more in-game screenshots though.
FLAWS & WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE
A alternative version with a different camo (jungle,urban or one that fits with him better,but don't delete the first one!)
Better HLMV Screenshots and more in-game screenshots as well