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I think this level definitely needs some more time in the cooker. Even if it's a first level, I think you could do with learning more advanced mapping tricks and really polishing up the visuals here.
Some things I see missing: Instead of using a starry sky as a ceiling texture, set it to `F_SKY1` and it will automatically make it transparent upon level load. Then in the MAINCFG you can set the sky to a starry sky (try SkyNum = 6)
Add thok barriers to show of this sky. The GFZ texture stretching up as high as it does gets very monotonous after a while. SeventhSentinel goes over how to make them in his Zone Builder tutorial on Youtube.
A few other pro tips* *Give your Rings the float flag  so that they don't touch the ground. *Make your corridors wider, small cramped tunnels aren't very fun to play through. *Decorate using Linedef type 700-714. These are slope lindefs, allowing you to slope the sector that they are facing. Slopes are great for adding to gameplay or just decoration in general.
Lastly, if you want more constructive criticism, join the Official SRB2 Discord server (you can find it on srb2.org) for more advice and guidance while mapping.