Unfunny D.E.B.S. Alerts

A Mod for Super Mario Sunshine

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  • This is a stupid mod to replace all the D.E.B.S. Alerts with references to various things around the internet, generally Mario themed. I'm sure someone out there will find it amusing.
  • To install, place the infomess.bmg file into /data/common.arc/common/2d.

Here is the entire script:

0 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Maybe I'll be Tracer. I'm already Tracer. What about Widowmaker? I'm already Widowmaker. I'll be Bastion. Nerf Bastion. You're right. So, Winston. I wanna be Winston. I guess I'll be Genji. I'm already Genji. Then I'll be McCree. I already chose McCree. I have an idea. What's your idea? You should be... I'm not gonna be Mercy...

1 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...I'm Ants in My Eyes Johnson here at Ants in My Eyes Johnson's Electronics! I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes! And there's so many TVs! Microwaves! Radios, I think! I can't, I'm not 100 percent sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator! Only $200! What about this microwave? Only $100, that's fair! I'm Ants in My Eyes Johnson! Everything's black! I can't see a thing! And also, I can't feel anything either, did I mention that? But that's not as catchy, as having ants in your eyes, so... that always goes... y'know, off by the wayside! I can't feel, it's a very rare disease, all my se— all my nerves, they don't allow for the sensation of touch! So I never know what's going on! Am I standing, sitting? I don't know...

2 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...what the? are you in charge here? yes i am - NOPE! my- WRONG! I'M IN CHARGE! allow me to clarify...in a sequentially ranked hierarchy based on level of critical importance, the disparity between us is too vast to quantify. agent, stop. the doctor thinks you're basic. listen pal, i don't know if you realise- i'm sorry, major, what was your name? benni- NOBODY CARES!!!...

3 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Super Mario Sunshine doesn't really do much of anything to truly distinguish itself. Instead, it comes off as a half-baked tropical retread of Super Mario 64, but with the addition of FLUDD. This would be perfectly fine if they had still made a great game (after all, you don't have to do anything revolutionary to justify making something, even in a series with entries as monumental as the ones prior to Sunshine), but even ignoring the weight of the series' legacy resting on its shoulders, Sunshine is simply a rushed, uneven mess...

4 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...The Attack on Pearl Harbor was a surprise military strike by the Imperial Japanese Navy Air Service upon the United States against the naval base at Pearl Harbor in Honolulu, Hawaii on Sunday morning, December 7, 1941...

5 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Nathanial scuttle bug paragoomba two-legged black haired singularity three-legged master race koopa the quick everytime sometimes once in a while untitled artist one mahjong Titans was held available on PC Windows flash computer personal computer Android mobile phone samsung galaxy Microsoft Windows 10 Windows 2000 Desktop Linux PC Mac html5 Mario platformer super Windows 8.1 Windows Microsoft 7 Chrome OS mobile android Kit kat Macintosh Apple computer windows VirtualBox VM Ware Wii U browser Wii U Nintendo browser original Nintendo low-low on official 3ds Linux super Ubuntu spongebob stupid and Mario simulator portable device Goomba Koopa Troopa para bupa bullet bill my aunt Jill pair on a plant obama's ramp big boo little boo medium blue id miss you both womp YZ Winfrey involve impeaching chomp chain womp teeny-weeny peeny beanie lakitu brackets lickety-splickety spiny whiny two-tole lining BOM BA Bom boombah boombah pokey whoa key lucky dokey boom boom boom banzai banzai billy harrington and shocky klepto fly you Nagi ill sushi mushi golden tiger roll and jolly roger bay home it's time for dinner bill blaster when bob ross ah space micro bloomerang medication beach grindle spindle skeeter bubba you're in trouble bully her amamiya super cooper jamboree oh mama heave-ho mister blizzard holy golden lizard mad paino who always scared me as a kid in Super Mario 64 bub foosh don't blow me off the mountain Nathan money bag bunny slag bombs snuff - Chuck yeah lickiest Uschi shark mister i booking bigger mystery Jayant eyeball killer chair flips in all of you from one room to be another bandi Namco entertainment Japanese video game development bandy?...

6 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Wow kid you just got /r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! My joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took me a total of 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. What's that? My joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. I outsmarted you, nitwit. In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "r/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy". WOW! Another reference I had to explain to you. I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons....

7 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Save on everything at Christmas in July! h h h h h h h h gregg. Panasonic Blu-Ray $99, h h h h h h h h gregg. 32-inch LCD TV $299, LG 42-inch HDTV $489. Everything's on sale during Christmas in July. h h h h...A snowball in July? H H GREGG!...

8 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Ah, what perfection. What a beautiful day, wouldn't you say, Rockington? Oh yeah, I lost Rockington. I lost a rock! Well, I do believe I've forgotten why I'm standing here. Guess I'll go back inside...

9 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Hi. My name's Kyle Brouwn, and my last Kickstarter for the Shit Globe raised over $200,000 from its last, original $9,000 goal. That's insane. But now, I need your help again. See, I'm inventing something called the shit......stain. It's a little product that packs a lot of punch. And the best thing about it is, it's completely humane and doesn't harm the shit. Have you ever wanted a stain that doesn't come out, smells like shit, and makes your stuff brown as fuck? Well, we've invented the best shit stain ever. Growing up in rural Georgia, I had nothing but a pile of shit, and a dream that one day I could stain something so bad that you could never wash it out. Well, today's the day, and I need your help to make it a reality...

10 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Hey, Mario! Look what I made! It's a stone, Luigi. You didn't make it. It's a football, Mario. I chiseled it. Well, what are you waitin' for? Throw me a pass! It's even official size! But not official weight...

11 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...I'm Captain Lou Albano talkin' to you about drugs. Kids, don't be afraid to say no. Anyone that asks you to use drugs is not your friend. Drugs can and will kill. Remember, don't be afraid to turn to your priest, your rabbi, your minister, your moms, your dads, your teachers, because drugs can kill. And if you do drugs, you go to hell before you die. Please...

12 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Watch it, soldier. If I want my feet licked, I'll ask for it...I want my feet licked. This will be the last time those pinhead plumbers throw a monkey wrench into my evil plan...

13 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Nice of the Princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh, Luigi? I hope she made lots of spaghetti! Luigi, look! It's from Bowser! Dear pesky plumbers, the koopalings and I have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom. The Princess is now a permanent guest, at one of my seven koopa hotels! I dare you to find her if you can. We gotta find the Princess! And YOU gotta help us! If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the inclosed instruction book...

14 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...It's been reported that a lone Yoshi egg has been spotted. Every Yoshi egg is spotted! Hahaha...haha.....can we start this episode over?

15 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Alright, let's check it out. Grand dad. Flintstones? Grand dad. Grand dad? What the fuck? Grand dad? Grand dad? What the shit, grand dad? Oh...

16 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Time to take a piss. What the hell are you doing? I'm taking a piss! Ok but why aren't you jumping at me? That's what you're supposed to do. I might do it fucking later. No! I'm a motherfucking enemy: you're supposed to jump at me. Okey dokey, then. Let me pull up my pants again first and then MAYBE I'll jump on you. Maybe? MAYBE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?! NO! JUMP ON ME NOW MOTHERFUCKER! Let me get my pants first. Fine...

17 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Hey, Mario, did you ever wonder where a baby comes from? Well, you see, Luigi, when a paisano puts his spaghetti noodle in a mamma mia's ravioli a little bambino covered in prosciutto comes out about nine months later. What does any of that have to do with babies? Mario, I don't understand. That's because you're a dog, Luigi. Woof...

18 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...That dino-twerp is eating me out of house and home! You didn't tell me you were bringin' a secret weapon, Luigi! That's Mama Luigi to you, Mario. W H E E Z E...

19 ...D.E.B.S. ALERT...Hello. I'm the Super Smash Brother from Super Smash Bros. Let's begin. This is Bowser. I'm sure fans can tell this is Bowser. He's standing. He's a character. I would like to introduce you to Bowser. I like Bowser. He's pretty. Moving on to the home console, here's Bowser. He's great. Even from far away...

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evanclue
evanclue Joined 7d ago
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evanclue Joined 7d ago
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evanclue
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